Are You Addicted to Approval? A 5-Question Exploration

Do you ever catch yourself second-guessing your choices, worrying if others will approve? I used to live there. Every decision felt safer when vetted by someone else. Praise became my fuel, criticism my poison. It’s exhausting.

One morning, I had a quiet, shocking realization: I had been outsourcing my own intuition. I sought advice not because I needed it, but because I didn’t trust my own judgment. That day, I understood, with startling clarity, that no one could make better decisions for me than me. That was the moment I began reclaiming my power, my confidence, and my life.

Quick Self-Assessment: Are You Addicted to Approval?

Take a moment to reflect honestly. There are no right or wrong answers — just insights into your patterns.

1. How often do you change your decisions to please others?

• Rarely

• Sometimes

• Almost Always

  
  

2. Do you feel anxious when your work, choices, or appearance aren’t praised?

• Not at all

• Occasionally

• Very Often

  
  

3. How often do you apologize even when you’ve done nothing wrong?

• Rarely

• Sometimes

• Almost Always

4. Do you find yourself comparing your achievements or lifestyle to others’?

• Rarely

• Sometimes

• Constantly

5. How comfortable are you saying “no” to requests that don’t serve you?

• Very Comfortable

• Somewhat Comfortable

• Not Comfortable at All

Your Results

Tally your answers: 1 point for the first option, 2 points for the second, 3 points for the last.

5–7 Points: Grounded in Self-Trust

You have a strong sense of your own authority and don’t rely heavily on others’ opinions. Keep cultivating that inner compass — it’s your superpower.

8–11 Points: Middle Ground

You care about others’ opinions, sometimes at your own expense. This is your invitation to strengthen self-validation and honor your own needs first.

12–15 Points: Approval Loop

You often look outside yourself for reassurance or permission. Don’t judge it — this is simply a signal that your inner compass is asking to be heard again.

Reflection: The Inner Shift

Even with all your seeming flaws, you are still the best person to make decisions for your life.Imagine what it would feel like to please yourself before anyone else. To act from your own authority instead of seeking permission.

Seeking approval isn’t weakness — it’s a conditioned survival skill. Healing begins the moment you recognize that your own acceptance is what truly matters.

Next Steps: The 21-Day Validation Detox

If this reflection resonated with you, it’s time to take action.My book, The 21-Day Validation Detox: Breaking Free from the Need for Approval, guides you through 21 days of exercises and reflections to help you:

• Rebuild self-trust

• Release people-pleasing habits

• Set boundaries without guilt

• Reclaim confidence from within

Take the journey and feel what it’s like to validate yourself first — every day.👉 Get your copy on Apple Books

Small Step You Can Take Today

Try this now: pick one thing that doesn’t serve your energy and say no to it. Then say yes to yourself instead. Notice how it feels. This small act is the first ripple in reclaiming your power.